one sleepless night

As I stared into darkness thinking "where did i go wrong" i didn't think it could happen to me. I was wrong it can happen to anybody. I lost alot yesterday, I lost hope, the sight of my future, even the one i loved. I couldn't take the pain, after i was kicked out of the ER because my dad was there i went for jog. I really needed to get things off my mind. Unfourntunaley i realized that jogging alone only brought worst thoughts in my head but it kicked me back into reality. I realized i had lost sight of the one person who Loved me no matter what and that is God. He only put us threw these hard times to make us stronger and if it wasn't for Jennifer telling me "God doesn't put us threw stuff we couldn't handle" i would have never been able to keep my head up. Dont get me wrong im depressed right now but all i have to do is turn to God and he will guide me threw this hard time in my life. And as for the night i didnt get no sleep i couldnt sleep so i just stared at my cieling and watched my fan. And i was thinking why did i stop going to church i would like to think it was because i didnt have my car and i know thats a lie. i couldve asked to borrow the car for one night but i was to busy straying myself away from God. But its going to change Im going to stop being such a hypocrite and actualy follow what i believe. well im done now. Goodbye